changes.

being 'home' over break made me realize i need to make some changes within myself

[and no its not because of the new year because i dont believe in new year's resolutions]

i have an attitude problem with people that dont deserve it.

i dont show respect to those that do deserve it.

im not a little kid anymore so i need to do more with helping others.

i need to get out of the habit of staying in a room to get away from people when im home.

i realize that some of the issues are coming from the fact that i dont get to see my mom alot over breaks. but i gotta do what i needs to be done.

yuhhh..

tiff is working on herself. ;)

lack of blackness

a couple of days ago, my facebook status said that i "just realized i dont like kool-aid."

the reason i put that status up was because my uncle had made about a gallon of red kool-aid and he and my sister were talking about how good it was and blah blah blah. when i stated that kool-aid wasnt the best to me, i got crazy looks from the both of them.

then the next day, i decided to drink some of it instead of choosing orange juice like i usually do. yuuhh.. it was horrible. wayy to sweet for me. but not a like yummy sweet, just a straight up cherry-flavored sugar flavor, and a lil watery too. and no, my uncle didnt make it bad because it brought back memories to all the other kool-aids ive drank in the past, all the same.

its just not my kind of drink. i guess i prefer the taste of juices better. and i think ive always been like that because when i was younger, id always choose a juice or soda over some kool-aid.

so when i posted that status, the first comment i received was "wtf...are you black lol" and it made me think, "why do i supposedly lose my "blackness" because i dont like kool-aid?"

if you look up kool-aid at urbandictionary.com, the results you'll get are:

--the universal drink of the hood

--the water of the ghettos

--comes in many flavors such as grape, cherry, blueberry etc, but known to the ghetto natives as red, purple etc

just because i'm black, i'm supposed to like kool-aid now?

those definitions were of course stereotypical [since i got it from that site anyways] but it made me wonder why is kool-aid so closely associated and stereotyped with black people anyways?

because kool-aid became popular to low-income african-americans because they could buy a 25 cents pack of kool-aid that would make maybe about half a gallon of something to drink. instead of having water, just add some sugar and the mix and there you go..something sweet to drink for cheap.

so yuhh.. that makes sense right? but that doesnt mean that as african-americans we have to stereotype ourselves. some people make it seem for themselves that JUST because they're black, they like kool-aid. making it seem like "all black people" love it. i'm sure there are some people in the lower income families that in the beginning didnt like kool-aid but that was all that was available.

i dont want a product that wasn't even invented and produced specifically for my race to define if i am black or not. all of you that claim you're not black if you dont like kool-aid have no idea where kool-aid is even from. Kool-aid was invented by a white man [of course] named Edwin Perkins in Hastings, Nebraska. now how many black people do you think live in Hastings? as of today, the racial demographic of Hastings is .79% african-american.

now was Edwin really thinking about marketing or selling his invention with the intentions of targeting african-americans? i think not.

therefore, i'm not going to let a product of any kind define if i'm black or not.

family?

UPDATE!

get your priorities straight when it comes to family.

[that applies to me too]



love.tiff.

shake my damn head

okay so yesterday i got my hair braided at this young lady's house right? since i got her number through my mom's best friend, i was a little skeptical about going to her house and sitting there for like 5 hours because i didnt know her.

anyways, when i picked her up, we had to go to the beauty supply store to get the hair and someones house after that because she left the rods there.

in the car, this woman gets on the phone and has a 30 min conversation with someone that consisted of her talking about:

-fuckin raw with her "ex"

-how he tried to get her pregnant by comin inside of her

-when she lost the baby

-how bad of a bitch she is and how she's "not afraid to shoot a hoe"

-him running trains on some white girls in her bed and fuckin a stripper & a hoe

-how he poured hot sauce on the floor, put a hole in the wall, and tore up some of her other belongings

-and how he put her in jail somehow..

i'm just driving around thinkin, "what kind of woman is about to do my hair?!" i didnt want to hear all of that because i dont know her. just TMI.

it calmed down A LITTLE when we got back to her apartment...until her 40 something year old friend comes over. now this woman was one of those Maury baby mama "im a 1,001 percent sure he's the baby daddy" type females. She said something about how all FIVE of her baby daddies are the real fathers and they were asking for a DNA test.. smh but she knows their the fathers because she "knows who she's been fucking and when"

then she talked about how she hasnt done the "cheating thang" on her man in a while until she met this man on myspace.

now hold on.. WHO THE HELL STILL USES MYSPACE!?

anyways she then proceeds to sit by me at the table and roll up a blunt. now mind you, a two year old little girl is sitting about 5 ft away eating her lunch. while shes's rolling the blunt, 3 more people come. so i didnt have an issue with them smoking because i figured they'd just go outside or something. but nahh.. right there at the damn table where im getting my hair braided and the damn lady braiding my hair smoked too! i'm just thinkin "hell nahh.. my hair better not come out smelling like weed"

but thats DEF not all.. the blunt rolling lady [oh yeah she sells green too] then pulls out a damn bottle of Bicardi and starts gulping that shit down and said "shit i'ma get wasted before i go pick up my kids!". my lord.

eventually she leaves but it doesnt end there. within the last 3 hours of hair braiding, i had to listen to her and her sister talking about having sex with their boyfriends, the boyfriends having sex with other women, how some customers put her "livelihood in jeopordize" [???] and a bunch of other shit. i couldnt WAIT til she was done with my hair so i could leave.

i just dont know. ive never been in a situation like that before. like i honestly wouldnt mind if i knew them, but shit, i dont! therefore, i'm not paying you to listen to all that and come out smelling like weed in the end.

i understand you're running a business out of your home but have some sense of professionalism. i was paying for a nice hair-do, not an experience in the midst of a hot ghetto mess. smh.

yuhh

so. the name's tiffani renee.
eighteen year old freshman @ spelman college =]
[no i'm not one of those spelmanites who think they're better than everyone else bcuz of my school; i dont need a private institution to validate that im special ;]
english/pre-law major. hopefully business minor @ clark atlanta university.
i just want to lead. never follow.

anywho. the nitty gritty of this blog ish.
ive always wanted to start one [well not ALWAYS..but for a while]
but i always questioned if anyone would read it, or im too "shallow" to have a blog.
then today i thought "bumpp this mannnn"
i dont need 50+ followers and how many ever comments to make me feel better;

im gonna blog because i'm a random ass person with random ass thoughts.
& thats exactly what you will read [eventually]

sooo YUHHH.. i guess thats it. for now.

love.tiff.