Question

because KP wanted to go in on my post on tumblr but couldn't...

why do people find it attractive to brag about how much alcohol they drank? that represents slight immaturity to me, because if you were either of age or mature enough, you would know that no one cares. #imjustsayin

so long. farewell.

i'm heading to tumblr.

sowwwyyyyy!

just feeling it a lil more.

follow me @ tiffanirenee.tumblr.com

notebook

So I was sitting in the backseat riding from Wisconsin back home & I started thinking about myself (cocky, I know) and things about me. Here's what came to mind:

i pray for others more than i pray for myself

its awkward when i receive a compliment. for some reason its weird to say thanks in those situations for me

living with another person made me realize many of my pet peeves (that i name off daily to my sister)

i have a different favorite food every week

i keep people at a distance

i don't try to be 'deeper' than i am (unlike some people my age)

my life is changing and i don't always like it, yet i know its in God's plan for me

im moody

i cant think of anything on Earth that im afraid of except losing my family

i honestly don't think ill get married

i check MTO, necole bitchie, nytimes, and cnn before getting out of bed every morning

i have sideburns (which some people find weird)

i debate about whether i should start tweeting again

i smile at myself every time i look in the mirror

the DL

Homosexuality is a touchy subject. So I’m not going to get too much into it with my opinion but touch on a basic level of what I’m thinking.

Society is so concerned with who’s sleeping with who when really that should only matter to the person who’s doing it. For that reason, some of us shun those who call themselves homosexuals. Now I’ll admit, I don’t agree with homosexuality, but I still respect the person. Because I think who someone sleeps with doesn’t define them as a person or shatter their character, because I have family members and have had friends who are gay/lesbian.

Since everyone is so fixated on what’s going on behind closed doors with everyone, those people that do prefer people of the same sex hide how they really feel. Now I’m not saying go shout it out to the world that you like men, women, dogs or cats, because frankly I really don’t care unless I’m in an intimate relationship with you. But since homosexuality is looked down upon so much within American culture and the black community, we have men that partake in what is called the “down-low.”

“Down-low” refers to a black man that identifies himself as straight, has sex with men and women but doesn’t inform the female of those encounters.

I just happen to be watching a documentary on it out of curiosity and one part stuck out. Two men were in a limo going to a gay club and were talking about it shouldn’t matter if they have relations with men and women, as long as he is protecting himself and the people that he sleeps with because he also doesn’t think that AIDS/HIV started with gay men.

Well I agree it shouldn’t matter to the world who someone sleeps with but I don’t appreciate the fact that these men aren’t telling the females that they have sex with men while they are still having physical relationships with them too.

I respect any person that shows that they deserve respect, but I don’t respect liars. They are lying to themselves and to the female. Sleeping around could put anybody at risk, whether you are gay, straight, or lesbian. So it’s not really a matter so much of lying about what sex you’re sleeping with, but lying about sleeping with others in general.

I just wish those men could be real with themselves and whoever they feel the need to let know but I guess society makes it hard. I’ll never really know what it’s like.

That’s just a sugar coated opinion of the subject because I’m not here to judge, that’s not my job. Just wanted to give you a little taste of what I was thinking.

SN: this video really has nothing to do with the down low i was talking about. just like the song lol

reflections.

i have made a number of mistakes within the last yr & have become a better person as a result. but if only i knew then what i know now...

1. id have REAL friends i could count on

2. i wouldn't have let YOU in

3. id listen to my heart over my hormones

4. i wouldn't compare myself to others because id know that being me is the best option

5. id know that i have a high tolerance for alcohol & know when to put it down

6. id be happy in a different way

7. i wouldn't keep things from my mom in hopes of avoiding disappointment

8. id look at the world in a totally different light

9. i wouldn't be writing this

10. i wouldn't have grown into the person i am today.

lovetiff. <3

man up

i know too many weak females when it comes to men, or in their cases BOYS.

--i've seen [well mostly heard] about how my mom got hurt and mistreated by my real dad, and maybe that's what fuels my 'fuck you' attitude when it comes to letting my guard down around guys. [but don't get me wrong, my mom isn't weak]

--i've seen my sister be hurt by fuck boy ex-boyfriends and hated them for that.

--i've seen people who i considered friends at some point lose themselves and do whatever for a boy. the guy says 'jump' & she has the nerve to say 'how high.'

--i've seen them get taken advantage of and most times, they knew that they were.

--i've also seen them give into stupid requests [like one deleted her fb simply because he wanted her too...no reason at all, no questions asked]

--he's cheated on you multiple times, why is he back living with you?

--he only wants to come over during booty call hours, and that the only thing that happens when he does come over

i could only think "how could you let someone treat you like that?"

there's no damn ring on your finger so whats up?!

now i understand you can easily get caught up if you feel like you have strong feelings for someone [its happened to me twice] but at some point you have to realize that he doesn't give a shit.

in the situations where my friends would just give it all up for some nigga that could care less, i used to get mad at the guys. but after a while, i realized i can't be mad at him. he's just taking advantage of what you let him.

if you let him talk to you or treat you any kind of way, of course he's going to continue to do it.

maybe i just get too emotionally invested in my friends' relationships. why? because i don't like to see the people i care about hurt. and i'll end up telling you about yourself, you may not like it and pull away from me. but that's fine, because i'll still be able to sleep at night knowing that i didnt keep my mouth shut.

seeing all of it makes me have a hard exterior most of the times toward guys that try to get with me. most times its a benefit, but sometimes it pushes them away.

idk. i'm going to protect the ones i love. i'm going to protect myself. because he should know that i will not put up with the bullshit. there's not three strikes in my ballpark, just one.

it's time for some of ya'll to man up. quit being the one hurt, be the one doing the hurting if anything. [not literally]

two pieces of me

i can't help but to think 'damn i'm lucky to be related to these two'

ohhh where would i be without them?

they are just as much a part of me as my big toe.

i need them. i'm blessed to have them.

i love youuuuu! <3