Question

because KP wanted to go in on my post on tumblr but couldn't...

why do people find it attractive to brag about how much alcohol they drank? that represents slight immaturity to me, because if you were either of age or mature enough, you would know that no one cares. #imjustsayin

so long. farewell.

i'm heading to tumblr.

sowwwyyyyy!

just feeling it a lil more.

follow me @ tiffanirenee.tumblr.com

notebook

So I was sitting in the backseat riding from Wisconsin back home & I started thinking about myself (cocky, I know) and things about me. Here's what came to mind:

i pray for others more than i pray for myself

its awkward when i receive a compliment. for some reason its weird to say thanks in those situations for me

living with another person made me realize many of my pet peeves (that i name off daily to my sister)

i have a different favorite food every week

i keep people at a distance

i don't try to be 'deeper' than i am (unlike some people my age)

my life is changing and i don't always like it, yet i know its in God's plan for me

im moody

i cant think of anything on Earth that im afraid of except losing my family

i honestly don't think ill get married

i check MTO, necole bitchie, nytimes, and cnn before getting out of bed every morning

i have sideburns (which some people find weird)

i debate about whether i should start tweeting again

i smile at myself every time i look in the mirror

the DL

Homosexuality is a touchy subject. So I’m not going to get too much into it with my opinion but touch on a basic level of what I’m thinking.

Society is so concerned with who’s sleeping with who when really that should only matter to the person who’s doing it. For that reason, some of us shun those who call themselves homosexuals. Now I’ll admit, I don’t agree with homosexuality, but I still respect the person. Because I think who someone sleeps with doesn’t define them as a person or shatter their character, because I have family members and have had friends who are gay/lesbian.

Since everyone is so fixated on what’s going on behind closed doors with everyone, those people that do prefer people of the same sex hide how they really feel. Now I’m not saying go shout it out to the world that you like men, women, dogs or cats, because frankly I really don’t care unless I’m in an intimate relationship with you. But since homosexuality is looked down upon so much within American culture and the black community, we have men that partake in what is called the “down-low.”

“Down-low” refers to a black man that identifies himself as straight, has sex with men and women but doesn’t inform the female of those encounters.

I just happen to be watching a documentary on it out of curiosity and one part stuck out. Two men were in a limo going to a gay club and were talking about it shouldn’t matter if they have relations with men and women, as long as he is protecting himself and the people that he sleeps with because he also doesn’t think that AIDS/HIV started with gay men.

Well I agree it shouldn’t matter to the world who someone sleeps with but I don’t appreciate the fact that these men aren’t telling the females that they have sex with men while they are still having physical relationships with them too.

I respect any person that shows that they deserve respect, but I don’t respect liars. They are lying to themselves and to the female. Sleeping around could put anybody at risk, whether you are gay, straight, or lesbian. So it’s not really a matter so much of lying about what sex you’re sleeping with, but lying about sleeping with others in general.

I just wish those men could be real with themselves and whoever they feel the need to let know but I guess society makes it hard. I’ll never really know what it’s like.

That’s just a sugar coated opinion of the subject because I’m not here to judge, that’s not my job. Just wanted to give you a little taste of what I was thinking.

SN: this video really has nothing to do with the down low i was talking about. just like the song lol

reflections.

i have made a number of mistakes within the last yr & have become a better person as a result. but if only i knew then what i know now...

1. id have REAL friends i could count on

2. i wouldn't have let YOU in

3. id listen to my heart over my hormones

4. i wouldn't compare myself to others because id know that being me is the best option

5. id know that i have a high tolerance for alcohol & know when to put it down

6. id be happy in a different way

7. i wouldn't keep things from my mom in hopes of avoiding disappointment

8. id look at the world in a totally different light

9. i wouldn't be writing this

10. i wouldn't have grown into the person i am today.

lovetiff. <3

man up

i know too many weak females when it comes to men, or in their cases BOYS.

--i've seen [well mostly heard] about how my mom got hurt and mistreated by my real dad, and maybe that's what fuels my 'fuck you' attitude when it comes to letting my guard down around guys. [but don't get me wrong, my mom isn't weak]

--i've seen my sister be hurt by fuck boy ex-boyfriends and hated them for that.

--i've seen people who i considered friends at some point lose themselves and do whatever for a boy. the guy says 'jump' & she has the nerve to say 'how high.'

--i've seen them get taken advantage of and most times, they knew that they were.

--i've also seen them give into stupid requests [like one deleted her fb simply because he wanted her too...no reason at all, no questions asked]

--he's cheated on you multiple times, why is he back living with you?

--he only wants to come over during booty call hours, and that the only thing that happens when he does come over

i could only think "how could you let someone treat you like that?"

there's no damn ring on your finger so whats up?!

now i understand you can easily get caught up if you feel like you have strong feelings for someone [its happened to me twice] but at some point you have to realize that he doesn't give a shit.

in the situations where my friends would just give it all up for some nigga that could care less, i used to get mad at the guys. but after a while, i realized i can't be mad at him. he's just taking advantage of what you let him.

if you let him talk to you or treat you any kind of way, of course he's going to continue to do it.

maybe i just get too emotionally invested in my friends' relationships. why? because i don't like to see the people i care about hurt. and i'll end up telling you about yourself, you may not like it and pull away from me. but that's fine, because i'll still be able to sleep at night knowing that i didnt keep my mouth shut.

seeing all of it makes me have a hard exterior most of the times toward guys that try to get with me. most times its a benefit, but sometimes it pushes them away.

idk. i'm going to protect the ones i love. i'm going to protect myself. because he should know that i will not put up with the bullshit. there's not three strikes in my ballpark, just one.

it's time for some of ya'll to man up. quit being the one hurt, be the one doing the hurting if anything. [not literally]

two pieces of me

i can't help but to think 'damn i'm lucky to be related to these two'

ohhh where would i be without them?

they are just as much a part of me as my big toe.

i need them. i'm blessed to have them.

i love youuuuu! <3

HelenaMaria

Rihanna, you better watch your ass!

This is HelenaMaria, twin sisters named Helena and Maria [duhhh]

My sister sent me this link & i'm impressed. lowkey sound better than Rihanna on her own song [not that she could really sing anyways]

Check it out =]

black power. ya dig

i've noticed that within the last year, i've become more afrocentric i guess you can say.

or maybe just more aware of the issues within my race or that my race faces.

i'll look at the Wal-mart and McDonald's commercials, for example, and pick at things about the black people in those commercials and how its marketed.

i'd even get a little mad at it.

all my life i've went to majority white schools, so i guess now my eyes are truly open. or maybe its a part of just growing up.

soo just warning you, if i have posts where i mention something about blacks being stereotyped or how white people look at us because of certain things, anything race related like that,

then now you know why =]

dancing fools

so i was reading Jeff's blog the other day and he had a video for a song/dance called the "Daddy Stroke." he said he think it might pop in parties and wanted to know what the readers thought. so i watched the video and thought "WHAT THE HELL!?"

this, sadly, is where some music has gone now days. we are the only race/ genre of music that makes up dumb ass songs for dumb ass dances. we have the stanky legg, swag surfin, flex, and now this... just to name a few.

now i'll admit, ive gotten caught up at a party and found myself doing some of those dances with everybody else. but then other times outside of that scene, i'd look at others doing it and just laugh to myself at how stupid they look.

i bet white people are lookin at us and just laughing too, in a small way proving the stereotypes involved in the minstrel shows. [& i dont mean this as saying that they're justified in laughing..i'm just throwing that out there]

its like anybody can get a record deal if they can produce a catchy song with a catchy lil dance that has no kind of depth or true musical talent involved at all.

yeahh, they're fun and catchy...but sometimes you gotta think about what you're listening to and doing.

but please let me know if you think i'm just thinking too hard into it haha

style for the youngin'

soo i came across this picture of Willow Smith while surfin' the web. she's so ADORABLE! i'm lovin the hairstyle [even though i couldn't pull it off] and this lil girl has a great style. just too many prints for me.

but unfortunately, there are a few people that think that she looks "too grown". being that the hairstyle has been one rocked by adults like Rihanna and Cassie. They believe with that hair, she looks too old for her age [she turns 10 in October]

well, i see nothing wrong with a young girl expressing her individuality through her hairstyles or clothing the way that Willow does. as long as she isn't dressing provocatively.

and how can a hairstyle be "too grown" for someone?? the hairstyle she chose eliminates the use of weaves [which might be a lil too much for a 9 yr old] and relaxers.

so i applaud little Willow. i don't think we have to worry about her much with parents like Will & Jada.

welcome backkkk!

it's been a while but I'M BACKKKK!

yeah i've been MIA for a good lil minute. can't really give a legit reason on why i stopped but i promise i'll be better =]

just writing this i'm starting to remember how relaxing it was to write on here [even though i never got into the real groove of it yet]

as said before, it probably will still be a bunch of randomness on here but hey, thats tiff.

<3

shhhhhh.

"the commonest thing is delightful if one only hides it"

so i started reading The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde because Barnes & Noble had a sale on classic novels ;)

anyways not even 10 pages in, i see that quote. the character Basil Hallward was telling Lord Henry about how he has come to love secrecy and how its the one thing that makes "modern life mysterious or marvelous to us."

that made me think of how our generation is becoming some type of 'obsessed' with knowing what everyone is thinking or doing at every minute of the day. we find them in the form of facebook, myspace [for those who still use it] and most of all twitter.

i remember seeing when twitter first started, they aimed it toward people letting like family members know what they were doing, like a worried mom or something.

then our society became even more fascinated with the lives of those who are famous, so we "followed" people like Miley Cirus on twitter to have a peak into her life.

Now it seems like facebook is following the train, with people updating their statuses multiple times of the day to receive the attention of their peers..some to make it seem like they're doing something every second of the day or that they are more interesting than they really are by thinking of a 'creative' status for everyone to 'like' or comment.

idk.. i'm just a little annoyed by technology now days and how it is taking over our lives. we're losing our sense of personal life or the secrecy of having one.

[i'm not saying EVERYONE is like that, just in general]

but thats just me.. what do you think?

changes.

being 'home' over break made me realize i need to make some changes within myself

[and no its not because of the new year because i dont believe in new year's resolutions]

i have an attitude problem with people that dont deserve it.

i dont show respect to those that do deserve it.

im not a little kid anymore so i need to do more with helping others.

i need to get out of the habit of staying in a room to get away from people when im home.

i realize that some of the issues are coming from the fact that i dont get to see my mom alot over breaks. but i gotta do what i needs to be done.

yuhhh..

tiff is working on herself. ;)

lack of blackness

a couple of days ago, my facebook status said that i "just realized i dont like kool-aid."

the reason i put that status up was because my uncle had made about a gallon of red kool-aid and he and my sister were talking about how good it was and blah blah blah. when i stated that kool-aid wasnt the best to me, i got crazy looks from the both of them.

then the next day, i decided to drink some of it instead of choosing orange juice like i usually do. yuuhh.. it was horrible. wayy to sweet for me. but not a like yummy sweet, just a straight up cherry-flavored sugar flavor, and a lil watery too. and no, my uncle didnt make it bad because it brought back memories to all the other kool-aids ive drank in the past, all the same.

its just not my kind of drink. i guess i prefer the taste of juices better. and i think ive always been like that because when i was younger, id always choose a juice or soda over some kool-aid.

so when i posted that status, the first comment i received was "wtf...are you black lol" and it made me think, "why do i supposedly lose my "blackness" because i dont like kool-aid?"

if you look up kool-aid at urbandictionary.com, the results you'll get are:

--the universal drink of the hood

--the water of the ghettos

--comes in many flavors such as grape, cherry, blueberry etc, but known to the ghetto natives as red, purple etc

just because i'm black, i'm supposed to like kool-aid now?

those definitions were of course stereotypical [since i got it from that site anyways] but it made me wonder why is kool-aid so closely associated and stereotyped with black people anyways?

because kool-aid became popular to low-income african-americans because they could buy a 25 cents pack of kool-aid that would make maybe about half a gallon of something to drink. instead of having water, just add some sugar and the mix and there you go..something sweet to drink for cheap.

so yuhh.. that makes sense right? but that doesnt mean that as african-americans we have to stereotype ourselves. some people make it seem for themselves that JUST because they're black, they like kool-aid. making it seem like "all black people" love it. i'm sure there are some people in the lower income families that in the beginning didnt like kool-aid but that was all that was available.

i dont want a product that wasn't even invented and produced specifically for my race to define if i am black or not. all of you that claim you're not black if you dont like kool-aid have no idea where kool-aid is even from. Kool-aid was invented by a white man [of course] named Edwin Perkins in Hastings, Nebraska. now how many black people do you think live in Hastings? as of today, the racial demographic of Hastings is .79% african-american.

now was Edwin really thinking about marketing or selling his invention with the intentions of targeting african-americans? i think not.

therefore, i'm not going to let a product of any kind define if i'm black or not.

family?

UPDATE!

get your priorities straight when it comes to family.

[that applies to me too]



love.tiff.

shake my damn head

okay so yesterday i got my hair braided at this young lady's house right? since i got her number through my mom's best friend, i was a little skeptical about going to her house and sitting there for like 5 hours because i didnt know her.

anyways, when i picked her up, we had to go to the beauty supply store to get the hair and someones house after that because she left the rods there.

in the car, this woman gets on the phone and has a 30 min conversation with someone that consisted of her talking about:

-fuckin raw with her "ex"

-how he tried to get her pregnant by comin inside of her

-when she lost the baby

-how bad of a bitch she is and how she's "not afraid to shoot a hoe"

-him running trains on some white girls in her bed and fuckin a stripper & a hoe

-how he poured hot sauce on the floor, put a hole in the wall, and tore up some of her other belongings

-and how he put her in jail somehow..

i'm just driving around thinkin, "what kind of woman is about to do my hair?!" i didnt want to hear all of that because i dont know her. just TMI.

it calmed down A LITTLE when we got back to her apartment...until her 40 something year old friend comes over. now this woman was one of those Maury baby mama "im a 1,001 percent sure he's the baby daddy" type females. She said something about how all FIVE of her baby daddies are the real fathers and they were asking for a DNA test.. smh but she knows their the fathers because she "knows who she's been fucking and when"

then she talked about how she hasnt done the "cheating thang" on her man in a while until she met this man on myspace.

now hold on.. WHO THE HELL STILL USES MYSPACE!?

anyways she then proceeds to sit by me at the table and roll up a blunt. now mind you, a two year old little girl is sitting about 5 ft away eating her lunch. while shes's rolling the blunt, 3 more people come. so i didnt have an issue with them smoking because i figured they'd just go outside or something. but nahh.. right there at the damn table where im getting my hair braided and the damn lady braiding my hair smoked too! i'm just thinkin "hell nahh.. my hair better not come out smelling like weed"

but thats DEF not all.. the blunt rolling lady [oh yeah she sells green too] then pulls out a damn bottle of Bicardi and starts gulping that shit down and said "shit i'ma get wasted before i go pick up my kids!". my lord.

eventually she leaves but it doesnt end there. within the last 3 hours of hair braiding, i had to listen to her and her sister talking about having sex with their boyfriends, the boyfriends having sex with other women, how some customers put her "livelihood in jeopordize" [???] and a bunch of other shit. i couldnt WAIT til she was done with my hair so i could leave.

i just dont know. ive never been in a situation like that before. like i honestly wouldnt mind if i knew them, but shit, i dont! therefore, i'm not paying you to listen to all that and come out smelling like weed in the end.

i understand you're running a business out of your home but have some sense of professionalism. i was paying for a nice hair-do, not an experience in the midst of a hot ghetto mess. smh.

yuhh

so. the name's tiffani renee.
eighteen year old freshman @ spelman college =]
[no i'm not one of those spelmanites who think they're better than everyone else bcuz of my school; i dont need a private institution to validate that im special ;]
english/pre-law major. hopefully business minor @ clark atlanta university.
i just want to lead. never follow.

anywho. the nitty gritty of this blog ish.
ive always wanted to start one [well not ALWAYS..but for a while]
but i always questioned if anyone would read it, or im too "shallow" to have a blog.
then today i thought "bumpp this mannnn"
i dont need 50+ followers and how many ever comments to make me feel better;

im gonna blog because i'm a random ass person with random ass thoughts.
& thats exactly what you will read [eventually]

sooo YUHHH.. i guess thats it. for now.

love.tiff.